Questioning Himself
by Pluffy-Chan
Summary: Naruto starts questioning his lifes worth when he really thinks about Sasuke. Some romance in the end between him and Hinata! M for Suicidal stuff P
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! I know the basic story line has been used so many times but I just wanted to try this out I guess. ) Tell me want you think PLEASE!

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Naruto:

After coming back to Konoha, even after completing missions, the thought of Sasuke just throwing me, throwing everyone aside kills me. I have been trying to feel better but every time he comes up I die inside. I cant help but cry at night sometimes. Sasuke was one of my first friends and I thought that he cared about me. I would have died for him and he just leaves after… he tried to kill me.

Kakashi sensei and Sakura have been worrying about me, I cant hide the dark circles under my eyes or the fact that its hard doing anything. Being alone from the start I could never really understand how having a friend felt, and that day when me and Sasuke first smiled at each other was like… a miracle. Now that he has left, its like my heart was ripped out. If he doesn't care about me then maybe everyone is just pretending to care about me, maybe I'm still just the demon nine tailed fox inside of me. I never wanted to be like this, I just want to relive my life normally. 

Sakura:

For some reason it scares me what is happening to Naruto. The fact that he seems to be so unconfident in everything he does. I have to stop by some mornings if I don't see him. Sometimes when I come to see him he is laying on his floor, staring at the ceiling, its like he has lost his will to be Naruto.

Naruto hadn't come out for some time the other day and I was worrying about him. When I stopped by he wasn't in his bedroom so I searched his house. I found him lying in the bathtub with his clothes on. Naruto was staring blankly at the wall across from him, "Naruto?" I asked peeking around the see the front of his face. Terror struck me as I saw that his eyes weren't their usual sky blue, they were fiery orange. I knew those eyes, it was the nine tails. The sight shocked me and I shuffled back wards up against the wall. He didn't reply, "N-Naruto? Why havent you come out yet?" still no reply. After a few moments I realized that he was unconscious, but what had he been thinking about that made him so angry?

Kakashi:

Naruto has seemed terribly sick recently. It has got me so worried that I cant even seem to read my book. Sakura tells me how he is doing when she checks on him in the morning every so often and what she has told me is surprising. I spend most of my days doing my normal routine but I just cant seem to focus. Anything someone might tell me could be forgotten the next day. Everything seems to not register somehow.

I tried talking to him about it one day but all he did was glare at me, his eyes glossy like he was about to cry. He whipped a tear from his eye as he stood and walked off. For some reason I knew he wasn't going to be willing to talk to me but I had to try. The fact that he had not been training hard was the first sign I realized, after that he just got worse. His steps are uneven and he seems to shudder at random times, the dark circles under his eyes and the strange bruises he has been getting are worrying me severely.

Naruto:

Sometimes I just fall unconscious like Im not controlling my body. The Kyuubi talked to me a few times, his words were only of anger, he told me to release him but I wouldn't listen. Now that Kyuubi hasn't talked to me for some time Im wondering if I should just release him and let everything go. What would it matter anyways.

I was sitting on my bed looking at the cracked picture of me, Kakash sensei, Sakura, and… Sasuke. I looked at him with such anger it seemed, but it was all respect. Sasuke is more powerful than me but I could never admit it, I was so immature when I still had him. He probably left because of me, I drove him away. A sudden pain struck my head, I clenched my hair , curling up. This head ache was unbearable, it kept coming back every morning. A shout escaped my mouth, the pain drove throughout my skull like someone was hammering my brain. Just then Sakura burst through the door, panting, she had heard my scream. She rushed to my side but I shoved her away. She hit the wall and winced, "Naruto!" I heard her call over and over again. My body slipped off my bed. As I hit the ground I could see her teal blue eyes staring at me from above.

Sakura:

I cant take much more of this, seeing Naruto in so much pain is driving me up the walls. Im afraid to leave him alone now. Now that I think about it I wish I wouldn't have been so cruel to Naruto back when we were younger, it seems so unfair now. Today Im going to Naruto's. Recently I have been coming to his house and taking care of him, he cant seem to get himself up and around so I have to stay with him. Sometimes he will slip into a strange trance almost. I found out that anytime someone mentions Sasuke… he seems to become more depressed. The picture that sat on his nightstand is in a box under my bed now, I don't want him to have to look at it anymore.

Naruto had been hurting himself when I wasn't there, which was only when we were sleeping. The night I had considered staying with him I decided to go home instead. Truthfully I was scared. The next morning I hurried to Naruto's house, it was early and not too many people were awake. As I made my way to Naruto's I saw Kakashi sensei. He asked me how Naruto was doing and I told him he had been hurting himself and that nothing I did seemed to cheer him up, he said a few solemn word and went on his way. More hand shakily clicked the doorknob as I entered his room, I felt something bad coming. I screamed a bit when I saw Naruto laying on the floor, his face gouged with four marks on both his cheeks, he had scratched himself raw. There was blood on his face and on the floor. I couldn't leave him alone anymore.

Kakashi:

The more Sakura had updates me the more worried and sick I become. I made the decision to come see him every day now. What a bad sensei I was.

Sakura told me that he had scratched his face until he bled so her and I rushed to Naruto's house. It was getting late and I looked in his window, he was laying on his bed, his knees bent and his hands behind his head. He was sleeping with an unhappy look on his face. We both quietly settled ourselves into his room. My back was propped against the wall facing Naruto's bed and Sakura was next to he on the floor, sleeping. I watched him closely for a few hours until his eyes gently opened, I knew the first thing he would see was me and Sakura. His eyebrows arched downwards slightly, "Why are you here?" he said without emotion. His face made my brain turn into a train wreck, "Because we cant have you hurting yourself again, Naruto." He slid up from his bed and sat facing us, his head down and his face shadowed. Tears trickled down his cheeks, they were ever so visible against the glitter of the moonlight. His arms were at his sides, palms up but his hands lifeless, "You never cared," he whispered, "No one ever cared!" he yelled. He thrashed his arms to his side, swiping everything on his nightstand off. I jumped up and stood against the wall. The items from his nightstand landed about a foot away from Sakura, causing her to wake. We both stood in his room, scared. Even if he was drowsy Kyuubi could still come out a any moment. He was so vulnerable.

That night we held his arms back and watching him cry to sleep. As painful as it was for us both we knew that we couldn't help him if he didn't let us help him. But we wouldn't stop.

Naruto:

Sakura and Kakashi have been watching me to make sure the nine tails doesn't come out. They lie and say they don't want me hurting myself anymore but the truth is; they don't even care, as long as their precious village doesn't get ruined. Why cant they see that I don't want to be here anymore? Why cant they just let me hurt myself and bleed until I die? Why does it matter? Tonight I running away and ending it. Im going to stop my terrible life once and for all. I always thought I was afraid of death, but now I see I was only afraid of defeat. Now that I have nothing to live for defeat-my life, doesn't matter.

I made sure Kakashi and Sakura were sleeping before I made my exit. I grabbed the kunai I had hidden under my bed and opened my window, the cold night air brushing past my face. For some reason I didn't want to end my life so quickly, or I at least wanted to do one last thing before I left. I wanted one last bowl of ramen. She shop was closed but I went in anyways. All of the ingerdients were there, now I just needed to cook them. I was never good at cooking but for some reason I made this bowl perfectly. The ramen had no taste though, in fact for the past few days anything I ate had no taste. But none the less, I finished the bowl and hurried off into the forest. I sat with my back against a tree, staring at my left wrist, the kunai in my right hand. I watched a leaf fall, it would be my starting point. The leaf flipped and turned a few times as it fell but as soon as it hit the ground I ripped the kunai across my wrist. The pain was there but I couldn't feel it. The blood sprayed up at my face for a moment before draining onto the ground. I did the same with my other wrist, the satisfaction of ending it would be mine.

My eyes closed and my body was limp but I still heard the voices, I didn't know if they were in my head or if they were real but either way I ignored their cries for me. One last high pitch scream brought me to sleep.  
Next chapter: The ending. ) It will be shorter than this one but hey, its just the ending. 


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura:

I cant believe that Naruto would do that… it was like he wasn't himself, but it wasn't Kyuubi either. It was something deeper than that, something I would never understand and I knew it. Now that Naruto has gone to any extreme I have started to realize, I should appreciate my life so much more than I do. I have so much and Naruto has so little. But hopefully he will see now that he has had me and Kakashi sensei all along.

That's night was unforgettable. I could feel the cold air on my face, it refreshed me and I relaxed a bit more in my slumber. All of a sudden t struck me that I was supposed to be watching Naruto. I jumped and panicked when I saw Naruto's empty bed. Kakashi woke quikly as he heard me pacing around Naruto's house, hopeing he would be there. The voice I heard from Kakashi sensei was like none I have ever heard. Just by saying Sakura I knew that he was already heading out… he was scared for Naruto. We both bounded out the window, hurrying across town, searching in all of the places we knew. The only place left to look was a small training ground and a forest nearby. We split up, hoping that we could find him before it was too late. I scattered quickly across the fallen leaves, the moon was shining almost bright enough to light my way. There was no trace of Naruto in the training ground then all of a sudden I heard a yell from Kakashi sensei, he had spotted him. I tried to catch up to him, hollering as hard as I could, trying to ask what he had seen. Apparently he had only seen a glimpse of him. As he approached the tree Naruto was leaning against he stopped suddenly, I did as well. I screamed when I saw him, blood spattered all over his clothes and his hands loose, the kunai barely dangling in his hand.

Kakashi:

I thought that Naruto would die. Even if we had reached him right after he had tried to kill himself I thought he would surely die. There was no sure fire way to heal this amount of blood loss…

I picked him up as fast as I could and shot off towards the hospital, Sakura following close behind. Of course I was faster then Sakura but I had to be for situations like these, I reached the hospital before her but she was still in sight. As soon as the almost snoozing nin at the front desk sees out situation she rushes us all up to a special room. She immediately called in other medical nins and there was soon a few of them gathered around Naruto. Me and Sakura were asked to leave the room for the night.

Naruto:

This dammed place is giving me a headache. Where am I, why cant I see anything? Am I dead? Is this where you end up when you die? In a sea of blankness? Either way it was better than living in the real world where the only people others cared about were themselves. I could get used to this place, just here with no one else to pretend they were my friend. Just me.

Sakura:

Naruto has been in a coma for a few weeks now. I have visited everyday. I cant help but feel this is somehow my fault, but Kakashi sensei always tells me that I had nothing to do with it. I wish Naruto would wake up, I hate watching him like this.

Kakashi:

We all feel like we are to blame. Even someone as shy as Hinata visits Naruto every so often. I was surprised to see Neiji and Kiba visit as well. Naruto hadn't shown any signs of waking up anytime soon, I just hope that he does anyways.

ENDING:

A snowy winter day and Kakashi had just invited Sakura and Hinata to come a visit Naruto with him. They only wanted one visitor in the room though as not to crowd the small space that was given. Kakashi went first. Strange and guilty mumbles could be heard from outside the door but Sakura and Hinata made no effort to listen carefully. They knew that whatever Kakashi was saying to Naruto made sense and that they shouldn't worry at all. Kakashi came out, he sighed and shook his head. He stood in the doorway for a moment and looked back into the room, "Naruto still wont wake up…" he said as he sat against the wall almost shamefully. Next was Sakura. Her quiet sobs could be heard from outside the door but not her soft and caring whispers. Naruto moved slightly in his sleep and Sakura only hoped that it was a sign that he could hear her sad, sad cries. Sakura came out, her eyes still watering. Being in that room with him brought back everything that had made him want to kill himself. Sasuke, Kyuubi, his parents… he was so lonely before, but he had friends now and he had before he even knew it. Hinata went last and she quietly got up and walked to the door, slowly opening it with a gentle hand. As the door closed you could hear her soft voice, "Hello Naruto." Her face wore a smile, she trusted Naruto that he would come back. She sat on the edge of his bed, the fact that he was so hurt and innocent made her not shy to touch his cheek. Her hand slipped off of his cheek and she laid down next to him. She curled up in a small ball next to him a spoke quietly. Even though she was talking to Naruto Kakashi and Sakura were eager to hear. Her small voice lit the wall way up, "Naruto, you were never alone. I have always been there. Sakura and Kakashi were there for you too. Im so sorry that all of this mess had made you question if we really love you." Sakura smiled as did Kakashi. Her words would mean a lot to him if he could hear them. She continued, "I wish I could have told you before you became like this. I never wanted you to hurt yourself, I never want anyone else to hurt you either. She huddled in close so him, his body was only semi-warm. Hinata's eyes hung lazily as she stared into nothing, "Hinata. Thank you," Hinata's eyes shot open. Was Naruto awake?! Or had she just heard it. She pushed herself up, holding her upper half up with her arms. His eyes were still closed and she sighed. She stared at his soft face, "for letting me know I am loved." sky blue eyes opened and her face turned red. She froze up as he stared at her. He lifted himself up and embraced Hinata, hlding her for several seconds. Hinata was too stunned to do as she usual does. She just sat there in Naruto's arms.

After wards:

Naruto was under 24/7 watch by Hinata and Sakura. They took care of him and walked him around town. He had stopped hurting himself but his eyes were still dull and tired. Even though it would take Naruto a very, very long time to recover, Hinata and Sakura were willing to help him. 


End file.
